The best way to meet people dancing is to be spontaneous. The only problem with that, with being able to handle any curveball thrown your way, is that it requires some confidence. In this blog post we’re going to talk about three tips to meet people dancing by utilizing the confidence you can gain from dance lessons.
As a dance student, you’re going to want to flaunt what you’ve got. There are certainly venues in your local area hosting single’s nights and dance parties. These are great ways to schmooze with your peers, and they’re your testing grounds for social experiences. If you’ve been out of the game for a while, I’d suggest starting here.
Because you’ve taken dance classes you understand that most essential rule of both life and dance: the people who fake it tend to make it. Through your dance lessons you’ve learned that you have to dance like the dancer you want to be, not the one you think you are. So too must you act like the man or woman you want to be, and in doing so you’ll be directing yourself toward the future you want. This brings me to my first tip:
1) Act and Dance Like Someone Better Than Yourself
The thing is, most people undervalue themselves. Privy to all of their secret insecurities and doubts, they believe others can sense their nervousness. That’s just not so! The only way someone knows you’re uncomfortable or scared is if you tell them.
So put on a confident front.
The best way to start this is with dance. Dancing is nonverbal, so all you have to do is move confidently to attract attention. Guys, ladies will dance with any man -- tall, short, skinny, large, scruffy, clean cut or what have you -- who can cut a rug. Ladies, I doubt I need to tell you what men are like when a woman moves her body in all the right ways. It’s magnetism, no matter who you are, and attracting attention through dance gives you an immediate confidence boost that can quiet your inner insecurities.
2) Never Say No to an Experience
Wherever you go to meet people dancing, obey the rule of an Arthur Murray practice party. If someone asks you to participate, the answer should always be “yes”. There’s nothing more off-putting than someone who won’t dance with anyone else. Maybe you think “well, I only have eyes for one other person in the room, so why bother with anyone else”.
I’ll give you a little social 101 here: people want what others have. If you want person X’s attention, you should appear interested in person Y and Z too. If these other two want to be around you, your value immediately goes up. If other people seem interested in you, your dancing and your company, you become a more desirable commodity.
Don’t think in terms of the shortest route to what you want. Learn to play the room by accepting every offer for dance and drink and entertainment.
3) Get Loose, but Not Too Loose
Meeting people is exciting, sometimes nerve wracking. And when you find yourself in conversation with someone appealing, the energy might seem like it’s about to explode out of you. Once again, harken back to your dancing to find a lesson on how to handle this life situation.
When you dance, it’s all about control. The more effortless something looks, the more control is behind it. That’s the grand illusion of dance. So too must you create a grand illusion of comfort and self control. I know you might be bursting at the seams to tell this new friend about your whole life story, all your hobbies, how many dance lessons you take, what your dog’s name is, where you sleep and in what state of dress -- but don’t.
The best way to leave someone is as an attractive mystery. Keep your cool, be able to talk with authority on many different interesting subjects, but only give away enough about yourself to make your new acquaintance want more.
Just like a good dance lesson leaves you hungry to learn more next time, so too should a conversation with someone you like.
Of course, the most important thing of all is to put yourself out there. Whether you take these lessons to heart today or if you have to learn them with trial and error, don’t give up. Always remember that you’re a person of incredible value and let that belief guide you wherever you want to go!